Wake Up!
by danceswithwings119
Summary: The Flock's attempts at waking Fang up.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! Sorry if you guys were expecting a poem I just couldn't get this out of my head!

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"**Hey does anyone want to help me get Fang the hell up!" Max screamed. Everyone came running into the room.**

10. Have Nudge talk at him very loudly

9. Have Gazzy rip one after eating Tex mex

8. Have Iggy set up a loud ticking bomb right near his face.

7. Tell him Lissa is running down the hall half crazed looking for him

6. Say, "Max is having a looooooooooonnnnnngggggggg talk with the voice, and it's

And it's about you."

5. Say, "Fnick wake the hell up!" till he does

4. Have Angel give him a nightmare

3. Scream, "Hey Fang breakfast isn't from a can today!"

2. Simulate an Eraser battle complete with bad Ari impression

"**What the hell is wrong with him?!?" Max yelled, "Why won't he wake up, we've tried every thing!" **

**"Not everything." Iggy said in an evil voice with an added completely evil cackle**.

1. Have Iggy scream, "What did you say nudge? Oh my god Max is standing over Fang in completely sexist, demeaning, see through lingerie?!?"

**Fang sat bolt upright in bed. Max slapped him and stalked out of the room muttering the phrase "sexist pig" over and over again. **


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't think I would do another one of these but a couple of people asked for it and I was feeling inspired to write another one for some reason so here it is. _**A/n**__** from 1/11/08:**_ I changed this up a bit. I pretty much just added to the list. I really do have to re-write chapter 1. Its pretty sucky compared to this. I got the descriptions idea from Fangurly.

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''Oh my gosh, Max!" Nudge started almost like she was preparing me for the Nudge channel to flip on, "Why isn't he waking up! I mean he's been asleep forever! Is he still breathing? I saw this show on discovery channel once where this girl she stopped breathing or something and they thought she was dead but she wasn't really dead and they almost buried her but she woke up just in time! Is that what's happening to Iggy? Don't bury him Max! Being buried alive must be soooooooo scary! That's like in that Kill Bill movie when the main character lady got buried and she had to punch through the box and stuff! Do you think Iggy could punch through a box? That would be super cool if he could. I'm sure he can 'cause he can do so many other amazing things! I mean he can cook, and build bombs, and, hey Max is sarcasm a skill or something cause if it is Iggy has it! I mean he's so amazing, and smart, and cu-" I heard Nudge cut off quickly. Was she just about to admit Iggy was cute? I didn't linger on it much longer. I had bigger problems to take care of. 

Once again one of my flock was in a strange bird kid like form of sleep that was as close to comatose as you can get without actually being in a coma. I shuddered, thinking about the last time this had happened with Fang. A certain blind mutant bird boy had made some severely scarring comments and, come to think of it, was in for a bit of payback.

"Hey Fang!" I called from Iggy's bedside, "It looks like we got a comatose patient who needs to be woken up." As soon as I finished Fang was right next to me with a pretty creepy glint in his eyes. The kids followed suit all grinning equally creepy grins thinking up ways to toutur- I mean "wake up" Iggy. This was going to be fun. This was the agenda we came up with:

10. Dump a huge bucket of ice on him.

Angel and Nudge took that big ice bucket thing that they put in most hotel rooms and ran down the hall to fill it with ice. Once they got back we dumped the ice on top of him and shoved it in his clothes. Nothing. He didn't even flinch. Well, I guess we've been through worse than just the cold.

9. Have Angel and Nudge sing to him in frequencies so high they could only be heard by Iggy and certain breeds of dog.

Angel and Nudge now prepared to sing a really strange completely high pitched song that Fang, Gazzy and I aren't even supposed to be able to hear. Okayyyyyyy. I didn't think they were doing anything until I saw I ggy flinch momentarily and heard Total actually_ whimper_ in the corner. Wow.

8. Continually scream, "DOG PILE ON IGGY!" and have the kids use him as a freakin' trampoline or something.

This was a fun one for the kids. Iggy's body bent in ways I didn't think were avian-humanly possible. He did indeed look like a freakin' trampoline or something.

7. Dress Iggy up as a whitecoat.

This one was a challange. Thank goodness for the doctor staying three floors above us, and lock picking mutant bird kids.

6. Play a rousing game of beat up the whitecoat.

We all need a little practice right? Don't want to get rusty.

5. Let Angel and Nudge give Iggy a "makeover" including make-up and a new dress

This was my personal favorite. The girls got this really trashy dress and make up from god knows where and dressed Iggy up. He had dark purple eye shadow, black eyeliner, dark red lipstick, fish net tights, black boots, and a red dress that was so short it could barley constitute as a mini-skirt, let alone a dress. It was hi-lar-i-ous!

4. Take pictures.

Can I get some awesome blackmail with this revenge please?

3. Post them on the blog

Ah. Good ol' blog. The Iggy fangirls either hated us or fainted.

2. Get a couple of sticks and make Iggy into a mutant bird boy piñata.

By now I was getting severely worried. But, one more beating couldn't hurt. Right?

Wow. Iggy sure can take a beating. He's not even awake yet! I was sure he'd wake up after number eight, but I guess not. I'm beginning to think he's dead. Fang said to reserve the number one spot for his plan which, by the way, we know nothing about. If whatever it is Fang is about to do doesn't work I'm taking Ig to a hospital. We all turned expectantly to Fang waiting for him to start. He smirked and spared a quick glance at Nudge, which had me suspicious.

"No Nudge!" Fang started with authority and a hint of disappointment, "Taking Iggy into the closet and making out with him for hours on end is not going to help anything!" After he said that five things happened simultaneously: Gazzy, Angel, and I cracked the heck up. Nudge turned beet red. Iggy jumped five feet into the air. Nudge got redder. And, Fang started smiling. Revenge is way too sweet.


	3. Chapter 3

This is my favorite/longest chapter I've ever written so... Yeah. I had fun writing it and I hope you guys enjoy! R and R please!

Oh yeah. I gotta do a disclaimer thingy.

Dww119: Say it Iggy!

Iggy: NO!

Dww119: Pwease Iggy! You know how much I love you and would love for you to do this for me. gives seductive Bambi eyes

Iggy: W-well u-ummmm. Dww119 does not own anything that JP does. Happy?

Dww119: Yep! Thanks Iggy! Gives him a huge kiss

Iggy: kisses back

Dww119: Wakes up from yet another Iggy fantasy I can dream right? lol. Enjoy the chappie!

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God no!!! Not this again! Why me!?! these and many more… colorful thoughts ran through my head as I looked down at Nudge asleep on her bed. That sounds pretty normal right? Nudge is just sleeping Max calm down, you might say. The thing is, Nudge has been sleeping for the last eighteen hours in a near comatose state. That's right, you heard me. As if the last two times weren't enough.

"Are you guys doing drugs behind my back or something!?!" I screamed, signaling my flock to enter the room. My little Angel entered the room smiling sweetly up at me. She was followed by the two troublemakers themselves, Iggy and Gazzy. Fang walked silently into the room after them.

"Seriously," I started, "what's going on?" It was a simple enough question but all I got out of them were a few assorted shrugs. I sighed.

"Okay let's just get her up." I said.

10. Dump her into a tub of freezing cold water.

Gazzy and Ange ran to fill the tub with icy water. Fang and Iggy stayed behind to help lift Nudge. We dumped her into the tub so that her head was above the water, but the rest of her was soaked. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Oh, well, nine more to go.

9. Pour something disgustingly nasty in her mouth.

This was all Gazzy. He promised nothing remotely poisonous so I agreed. He grabbed a bowl and many other ingredients from the downstairs buffet and started mixing. Fifteen minutes later we ended up with a bowl of some thick smelly liquid that was a strange dark green. I asked him once more if he was sure it wasn't poisonous he nodded his head yes and spooned some into Nudge's mouth. She gagged a little, spit it out, and went back to sleep. Next.

8. Blast the Jonas Brothers Music as loud as possible.

Nudge is CRAZY for the Jo Bros. Seriously. Absolutely insane for them. We all stuck earplugs in our ears and turned it up as high as possible. I could have sworn she said "Kevin" followed by a "Nick" and a "Joe" and strangely enough an "Iggy", followed soon after by something along the lines of "those shirts really need to come off guys". I was so shocked I turned to look at the rest of my flock to see if anyone else heard/ saw her lips move. The only clue I got was Iggy blushing before the manager started pounding on the door. Apparently the people on our floor weren't Jo Bros fans. Whoops.

7. Let Total round up some other dogs from and tell them to slobber all over her.

Angel gave Total the biggest Bambi eyes ever. After about two seconds Total, grudgingly, agreed. He trotted down the halls muttering something about us "darned bird kids". He came back with five or six other dogs. Angel squealed happily and gave Total a huge hug. Total proceeded to tell the dogs something about Nudge concealing peanut butter. They all jumped up on the bed and started sniffing and licking like crazy. Nudge squirmed around quite a bit. You know squeaks and giggles galore. But then she was right back to sleep. Eventually the dogs found out that Total had lied. Let's just say I had never seen that dog run so fast.

6. Kick her in the head.

We all took turns. Seriously, each and every one of us. Nothing. At all. I mean, I knew Nudge was hard headed sometimes but, jeesums, her head was like freakin' concrete or something.

5. Have Angel send a seriously disturbing image into Nudge's head.

Angel's cute little face scrunched up into a look of concentration. After a few minutes the small creases that lined her forehead disappeared. Angel smirked broadly sure that this would wake Nudge up. After a minute or so, Nudge started convulsing like she was having a seizure or something.

"Sweetie?" I asked Angel in the kindest motherly tone I could muster right then," That image wasn't _too_ disturbing and/or scarring right?"

"Ummmm… define disturbing." She answered. Wow. That's not good. Then the screaming started. Nudge was screaming top volume and we tried our best to muffle her yelling. The manager was banging at our door… yet again. He started screaming something about child protective services. Okkkkaaaaaayyyyy. We sent Ig and Gaz to the door with some fake crap about how sensitive their sister was to scary movies. Apparently the jerk bought it because Iggy and Gazzy were back seconds later trying to shut Nudge's motor mouth. Eventually the screaming subsided but all it did was make Nudge more exhausted than ever.

4. Put some kind of small rodent in her mouth.

This one was, surprisingly, all Fang. Apparently he remembered something about why Nudge became a vegetarian in the first place. And it had something to do with rats. So Angel ran down to the kitchen repeatedly telling us to "trust her". She came back a couple of seconds later with a small mouse in her hands. I quickly asked her if the hotel used rat poison or any thing like it. She said they were "trap kind of people". I quickly shook that mental image from my mind and popped the rodent into Nudge's mouth. We all stared waiting for what would happen next. Nudge's forehead wrinkled in slight confusion then her jaw muscles tensed and Iggy's hand flew to Nudge's mouth. I looked at Iggy. Then at Nudge's mouth which was now closed. Iggy had saved the little rodent from Nudge's mouth. I asked Ig how he did it so fast. He said that putting his hand over Nudge's mouth was such a familiar gesture that he didn't really have to think of it. That was pretty true. Iggy was always the one to clamp his hand over Nudge's mouth. Okay. Next

3. Put shaving cream in her hand and tickle her face with a feather so that it gets on her face.

Okay so this one wasn't so much to get her awake as it was giving us a chance to have a little fun. We got some shaving cream from room service and sprayed almost all of it on Nudge's hand. Then I got a feather from my wings and lightly tickled Nudge's face. 3… 2… 1… SPLAT! It got everywhere! I was al most scared she would drown in the stuff. Naturally we took pictures. Don't you just love blackmail? I sure do.

2. Take at least twenty alarm clocks and set them to go off one after the other.

This one took a lot of prep work. We got Angel to see which rooms were empty by looking through the manager's brain. We then had to go to twenty rooms, pick the locks, and steal the clocks. They each went off one after the other. Nothing…. Again.

Angel said to give her two seconds with Nudge and she would be awake before we knew it. I shrugged and nodded and hoped it would work or else we were headed to the hospital. She sat quietly on the bed next to Nudge and whispered something in her ear. Three things happened. Iggy blushed, Nudge's eyes shot wide open, and she started chasing Angel around the room. My family is way too weird.

_**Nudge's POV**_

I was having the strangest dream ever, ever that I bet anybody ever had. First, I was dumped into the ocean near an iceberg in Antarctica. Then, after swimming for like ever I was in this freaky restaurant, and I ordered cotton candy 'cause I was super hungry, and bit in to it and stuff and it didn't taste like cotton candy at all! It was soooooooooooooo nasty! I totally spit it out all over the place. Then out of like nowhere the Jonas Brothers showed up! I was super happy because ILOVETHEJOBROS!!!!!!!!!!!! Then Iggy showed up and started singing with them and I could've like died happy right then and there, but then the best thing that could have ever happened, happened. They all started taking off their shirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD, I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN!!!!!! But then the strangest thing happened, the floor opened up and I fell into this hole that landed me in the grasslands of Africa. There were dozens of zebras, gazelles, and giraffes all around me. Then they all started licking me like I was the best grasses and leaves they'd ever tasted. It tickled so badly! Then all of a sudden everything turned black and I was experiencing the worst headache of my en-tie-er life! If I could imagine one of Max's brain attacks it probably would have felt like that. Soon the pain started to go away and a huge spotlight lighted up a large pole that was in the middle of a raised stage. Suddenly another spotlight appeared following Ari as he walked out onto the stage! I got into a fighting stance where I stood, but instead of turning to fight me Ari started to do a pole dance! I was twitching so bad from the disturbingness of it all when he undid his pants. That's when the screaming started. I tried to run, to close my eyes, but I was stuck to the spot my eyes glued open. Why me god! What have I done to anger you so! Please make it stop!!!!!!! Eventually Ari started fading away slowly and I was free to close my eyes. I did so and when I opened them again I was in a nice soft bed in a pure white room with no windows or doors. For a second I thought I was at the school but I was way too comfortable, and it didn't smell anti-septicy. I felt something in my mouth. It was really soft, like a marshmallow peep. I realized I was starving so I tried to bite down on it but it was gone. Weird, I thought. Suddenly my head was filled with a bunch of beeps and rings. It was strange but I didn't really mind, because I was suddenly in a sea of melted marshmallow. I almost felt like I was drowning, but then I washed up onto a warm sunny beach. Before me, stood Iggy in nothing but a pair of boxers, smiling angelically down at me. My breath stuck in my throat as he took my hand and helped me up. He gave me the most passionate breath taking kiss ever conceived. Just when he licked my bottom lip asking for entrance I heard a small voice drift into my thoughts. Nudge, if you don't wake up right now I'm gonna tell Iggy about how you guys are half naked, on a beach, and kissing in your dreams. My eyes shot open. I jumped from my bed and started chasing Angel around the room. Stupid freakin' mind readers.


	4. AN Srry guys!

Hey guys! With much prodding from many people I have decided to end this story with a Max chapter! (hears a cricket chirp) Okay. I'm super sorry about leaving you guys hanging, but I still love you all, and this should be up in a week or two (school depending). So to make up for my terrible unreliable updating I present to you a succulent little tid bit from the next chappie.

"_With a couple of kicks the door was off its hinges and we were in. I immediately turned off the water, and then proceeded to have a panic attack because there was Max. On the floor of a tub. Naked_".

Lol! Juicy, no? Oh, by the way, here is a little disclaimer brought to you by the love of my life…

dramatic pause

DWW119: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEESE IIIIIIIGGGGGGGYYYYYYY!!

Iggy: Oh my gosh, fine! Danceswithwings119 does not own anything by Mr. all knowing himself, James Patterson… INCLUDING ME!

DWW119: Aww, don't be like that dearest sweetest meaning of my existence.

Iggy: Well, when you put it like that… (launches into a passionate make-out session with the author)

DWW119: (Wakes up from yet _another_ Iggy fantasy) What can I say, I'm in love! Lol!


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